Lately I’ve been feeling chained to living a gluten free lifestyle. It’s like a giant, shackled ball is on my ankle following me around everywhere. Even before I started blogging about Celiac and gluten free living, it has been all I think about. Any symptom I have, I wonder if I ate something with gluten. Anytime we go anywhere, I wonder if I can trust the place we are eating to not make me ill. I’m finding myself obsessed with food, obsessed with Celiac…
Not to mention, I feel like a huge burden to others. We just went to a cookout on Friday and they called to see what we wanted to eat. Aaron had to do the whole explanation thing of what I can eat, it’s not just wheat etc…
I ended up eating before we went over there and picking up a fruit bowl to take with some Woodchuck Cider Ale so I wouldn’t be tempted with snacks or be hungry the whole night.
I realize there are people with bigger problems than I have right now, but for me this is a huge hill I’m still learning to climb. My choices are so limited and I’m already a picky eater so it makes it even more difficult for me to find foods to enjoy. Between the gluten allergy, latex allergy and lactose intolerance problems – I’m struggling. Even more so than I ever have in the past and I think it’s because I’ve become more aware, more diligent of my problems. Specifically now that I’ve been diagnosed with these ailments and know what’s going on.
I’m one of those people that have to understand everything. My friend Janine always jokes with me (and gets annoyed I’m sure) because I ask her “why” all the time. I’m the kid that loved to learn. My grandfather used to teach me lessons on the drive to school and always made sure I was ahead of my grade with reading, writing and arithmetic! So, why can’t I figure this thing out??
Did you know that 3 out of 4 women suffer from disordered eating in one way or another? That was a study done in 2008…. Can you imagine what the statistics are now with social media growing so large – giving access to so much information to so many people?
What is Disordered Eating?
“Disordered eating is a classification (within DSM-IV-TR, used in the health-care field) to describe a wide range of irregular eating behaviors that do not warrant a diagnosis of a specific eating disorder such as anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa. Affected people may be diagnosed with an eating disorder not otherwise specified. A change in eating patterns can also be caused by other mental disorders (e.g. clinical depression), or by factors that are generally considered to be unrelated to mental disorders (e.g. extreme homesickness).”
According to a 2008 study at University of North Carolina Chapel Hill, those in their 30s and 40s report disordered eating at virtually the same rates. Findings show that:
- 75 percent of women report disordered eating behaviors or symptoms consistent with eating disorders; so three out of four have an unhealthy relationship with food or their bodies
- 67 percent of women (excluding those with actual eating disorders) are trying to lose weight
- 53 percent of dieters are already at a healthy weight and are still trying to lose weight
- 39 percent of women say concerns about what they eat or weigh interfere with their happiness
- 37 percent regularly skip meals to try to lose weight
- 27 percent would be “extremely upset” if they gained just five pounds
- 26 percent cut out entire food groups
- 16 percent have dieted on 1,000 calories a day or fewer
- 13 percent smoke to lose weight
- 12 percent often eat when they’re not hungry; 49 percent sometimes do
Everything I learned about nutrition for the past 4 years is wrong.
All the tools I used to lose weight, probably made me even more ill and could potentially cause numerous problems with me as I get older.
A Penn State University study found that women with controlled celiac disease, eating a gluten free diet – are still more likely to suffer from stress, disordered eating and depression.
As a fitness expert, the more I learn about wheat, gluten and GMO’s I question how I can still promote and recommend these items to my clients.
My hormones are so out of whack that I try to work my ass off – only to build NO lean muscle – just gain weight or stay the same. I never understood why I did everything “right” and it didn’t work. Well, my TSH levels were off the chart, I suffered from low testosterone levels and I consumed gluten at an extra-ordinary rate! No wonder I didn’t feel well despite being “healthy.”
You can imagine how frustrating this is for a fitness professional to try so hard and not get the body the others have. To obsess over what you are putting in your mouth, doing the right things, only to have your body rebel. It’s the same feeling to have a hair dresser with horrible hair or a foot model with warts!
Now my body is running the show and I have no control. I finally know what is wrong but there is still this part of me that still feels like this is temporary and I will be able to go back to eating regular foods anytime now.
I work about 10-12 hours/day 6-7 days per week and I don’t have time or want to learn new recipes or foods. I want things to be quick and simple. I’m fortunate to have a husband that doesn’t mind cooking, but often I feel guilty when he works the same as I do and then ends up cooking.
Today I realized I’ve developed a Disordered Eating habit. I’m only eating things that are quick and easy. I’m not getting enough protein and whole foods in my diet. I’m consuming too many snacky type foods. To put this in perspective and be totally honest – I ate a half a bag of Popcorners, 3 gluten free cookies, 2 gluten free soft pretzels, a gluten free cider ale and some Kefir smoothie with my vitamins. I’m self admitting here, hoping it will wake me up or you can give me some support to lift my head up and eat some meat!
There is a difference between happy and healthy or skinny. I’d much rather be happy and healthy but am struggling to put the pieces together.
I will figure this out….
Last night I had a great balanced meal! Salmon, green beans and purple jasmine rice!! I need to stay committed to these types of meals and eat them throughout the day instead of just dinner.
Am I crazy? Do you suffer from any of these? Leave me a comment and let me know!!