Yesterday I had a very bad day.
Today I’m having a decent day. (I wrote this comment prior to 3/4 of this blog post being deleted when I hit publish while sitting at the book store)
Tomorrow will be a great day. (I wrote this comment before my car got hit by a semi the following day, it was not a great day)
As I sit (Thursday) in Barnes & Noble today reflecting on the sequence of events recently and planning to over come this set back, I realize that not everyone responds to stress the same nor do they keep coming back time after time again after frequent set backs.
The last 2 years have been the most challenging years of my life. I’ve always been a fighter. I’ve always used set backs to come back stronger, more determined and eager to succeed. I’m just one of those people whose drive, dedication and determination supersedes any amount of pity parties. (although I do have my fair share of pity parties)
Not every project is going to work. Not every relationship will survive. Not every business will be profitable. The only thing that you can control in this world is your response to the disappointments or negative events. It took me a while to learn how to adequately cope with them and it’s really individualized per person.
I’ve been mad at myself for not reading labels and been glutened! I’ve been mad at myself for purposely “trying” to be able to eat a little bit of gluten once in a while to satisfy my cravings. I’ve been mad at restaurants for making me ill for days. But I will never give up on this journey. I’ve realized it’s a constant battle of trial and error, there really is no quick fix for this tremendous lifestyle change.
My grandfather never tolerated “cry babies” and at a young age I learned to tough it out. Not because he was a hard ass or anything, he just had the military and engineer mentality that in order to succeed, you need to learn to learn from your mistakes and move on. You can’t change events that already occured, all you can do is plan for the future. The resilient people use set backs as fuel for their fire. They take those experiences and turn them into educational moments, striving to overcome the obstacles and be more prepared for the future. Needless to say I’m not always the most sympathetic person in the world but I do have a really big, generous heart.
I struggle with tolerating whiners, cry babies and people who constantly blame others for their misfortunes. Everyone in the entire world struggles. Life can’t always be rainbows and butterflies. We need the rain and storms to develop ourselves into strong, beautiful creatures. What’s the point of getting all worked up over things you can’t control.
I’m finishing this post on Saturday night because on Thursday when I started it, almost the whole post was deleted after the internet at Barnes and Noble went out. This has pretty much been one of my most challenging and difficult weeks in a long time. Just to give you a quick summary – This week I made very difficult business decisions that affected people’s lives I really care about, my sister was in a car accident, a family member got a flat tire and we spent almost 3 hours with him one night until 1am after having a very long day, somehow I gained 5 pounds, the internet wiped out my blog post, I’m struggling to get all my old information off my old computer, some unexpected financial set backs happened and my car was hit by a semi truck with me in it yesterday.
Each and every one of these events was a learning experience. If this were 4 or 5 years ago, all of these events combined would have set me into a tail spin. But as I’ve gotten older and finally have my health in order, it certainly makes it easier to think on the fly and bounce back. When my car was it yesterday, it was blatantly the truck drivers fault but the officer said the intersection was “tough” so he was going to make it a no fault accident. As much as I wanted to cry and fight with the officer, I just let it go. There was nothing I could do at that point to change his mind so why should I get myself all worked up about it. My car is my baby, I’ve only had it for 6 months. BUT it’s just that… a car… it can be fixed. I am grateful to be alive and can’t even believe all I really have is a back ache from tensing up as he hit me from the driver’s side. Do I want to pay $500 for my insurance? No, but that’s just what has to be done. What’s the point of running around crying and moaning about it? Will that fix my car? Will that make the cost go away?
So you hate your job? Find a way to enjoy your job or find a new one. It’s not that simple you say? Well, then live your life miserable and know that people don’t want to hear about it.
People are afraid of change. They are afraid of new things. They are assume things will be a certain way without any experience otherwise.
I live my life to make me happy. If you live your life to make other people happy, you will NEVER be happy. Those people suck the life and the happiness out of you because they are also people unhappy on the inside. Misery is contagious. Negativity is contagious. But, so is positivity!
To genuinely be happy, you have to love yourself. To love yourself, you have to make difficult decisions in your best interest for it to happen. I lived my life for too long with people draining my energy, stealing my mojo, bringing me into their negativity and overall making me unhappy.
I’ve cut ties with friends. I’ve cut ties with family members. I quit my job. I made my relationship with my husband better and stronger. I’ve made difficult business decisions creating enemies I never thought I would have. But you know what, through all of this temporary, situational drama – I’m incredibly happy. We still have financial struggles, I still deal with sadness and anxiety, my business isn’t exactly where I want it to be but I AM HAPPY.
Making these decisions aren’t easy. Cutting people out of your life isn’t easy. But it sure feels wonderful to be happy.
What changes can you make in your life to bring a little happiness into it?
Have you made difficult decisions? Please leave a comment below!